Did you know that you will keep repeating patterns of behaviour until you can explore either explicitly or implicitly the root of these patterns?
This week I have been preoccupied in my work by clients, colleagues and stories in general of us repeating patterns of behaviour even though we seek different results.
Why this happens is mostly because behaviour is a response to something to achieve something. But most of us work with the behaviours superficially. We are usually clear about the first part of the equation above: we know what we are responding to, and therefore we are constantly in reaction mode. The problem is that this reaction will be the same all the time until we learn the second part of the equation: What need are we trying to satisfy by our reaction? Corrolarily, What are we trying to defend by reacting the way we are, what are we protecting?
By understanding this foundation of behaviour we have access therefore to our motivations and drives, and as such are able to change our reactions into considered responses. Of course if this was easy people would be doing it every day and as such people would effect change easily. This is the reason that people need to have coaches or behaviour therapists on their speed dial. Each of these modalities of course works at a diffrent type of problem, but the result is eventually the same.
Interestingly when people go to coaches and therapists, sometimes they are so stuck in repeating these behaviors that they sabotage the work with the professional. We can see it. Because going to that level requires a little bit more work than usual, it requires a level of vulnerability, which many people resist. And as a result they remain the same, then blame the coach or therapist 😁.
In order to get different results, you will need to learn to respond differently or else you will continue to repeat patterns of the past. In my book “365 Days if inspiration” (2016), I outline a map that already starts helping you reflect on where your behaviours come from. Better still get in touch with me via Facebook inbox or use the contact details below. Who knows, if you ask nicely, you might get a complimentary session. And for some people that’s all it takes!